Sunday, February 26, 2012

A Visit Today



While in town for a business trip, I had the opportunity to visit Jenna today. It had been almost a year and a half since my last visit, so it was long overdue. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to come to Nashville for work and make time to visit my dear old friend. It was nice being able to sit down and talk to you and enjoy the fresh air and the warm sun. While sitting at your grave, I found myself playing the "what if" game and wondering what you would be doing today if you were still alive. Rather than be at your grave, I wish I was making plans to stop by your house for a visit. So many thoughts and questions were racing through my mind as I stared at your name on the plaque that will forever mark your spot. Had you lived, would you now be a nurse like you were studying to be, would you be excitedly anticipating your upcoming 40th birthday, would you be planning your next family vacation or trip to MI? I sure do miss the days where we could pick up the phone to talk and catch up; talk about the good ole days growing up, laughing, etc. I know you were there listening to me. You are never far from our thoughts and you continue to live on through many of us, each and every day. Miss you Jenna.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Another Christmas is here...... another time to reflect on Christmases of the past and smiling at happy memories........... I often find my mind going back to a childhood in Vermont..... a very busy house full of chatter, music, pies baking.........the wood burning stove- the door opening and closing every five minutes with someone coming and going......... and the anticipation of what would be under the tree the next morning. It can't be Christmas without me thinking of you Jenna..... and while our family is spread out and we haven't all been able to have that "big" Christmas of childhood since we all grew up and spread our wings.......... we were always able to pick up the phone on Christmas. And another year is passing that I can't pick up the phone and call and share Christmas with you. But I can post on this blog- and relive special memories in my heart and connect with others missing you right now.

Merry Christmas Jenna!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Pittsburgh Light the Night Walk 2011






This year I did the Pittsburgh Light the Night walk ........... while friends and family in TN and family and friends in VT were able to walk together right after Jenna passed away - I didn't have anyone to walk with here - and so 4 years later I finally was asked by one of my customers to do the walk with them. I wasn't sure what to expect but I knew that I wanted to make a sign for Jenna and also include others I know touched by Lymphoma or Leukemia........ the walk was very interesting. SO MANY "Survivor" t-shirts on adults, children, teenagers..... so many "In Memory of" yellow balloons and a "Memorial Ceremony" where people could hold a blue balloon and write a note to the loved one who had died to release all at the same time into the sky. That part was especially emotional for me because as I watched the balloons rising into the sky it looked like a bunch of souls rising up and then all the balloons clustered together and floated off in one big massive cluster. Around me people quietly sobbed as they let go of their balloon ..... of their loved one yet one more time. I found the ceremonies emotional and filled with mixed emotions. One thing that surprised me about the event was that as they showed children/teenagers who were either battling the disease or who had lost their lives.......I found myself grieving all those years when Jenna was a teenager.......... bald, wearing scarfs, having chemotherapy and being violently sick to the point of collapse........... remembering my conflicted emotions as a 15 year old girl and how to cope with a sister so sick........ grieving her childhood non-Hodgkins Lymphoma as well as her final battle and death from Leukemia.......... the impact of hearing others stories so much like my own.

I also found myself extremely HAPPY for those whose lives have been saved. Saved because of fundraisers like Light the Night that pay for education - drugs that may be in clinical trials but not covered by insurance that a very sick person could get access to because of those funds..... and seeing that there is always hope and love and kindness and that we're never alone when it comes to cancer. Cancer touches people of all ages, races, social status and gender. And as I walked with my little sign and I had SO many people say how much they loved the sign. The hands represent those TOUCHED by cancer............... the orange color is blood cancer awareness......... and the rest of love. I will always walk with a little hole in my soul that Jenna filled - but I know that in connecting with others and helping others comes healing. Thank you to all that supported me with donations and I look forward to making a bigger impact next year now that I know what this is really all about!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Visiting

I am here in Nashville for work and wish I had the time and opportunity to stop by and visit you while here. It's not often that I make it to Nashville and feel that when I do, I should make the effort to visit your grave. Driving into town last night, a feeling of saddness came over me because I couldn't pick up the phone to call you to tell you I was in town and that I knew I wasn't going to get the chance to 'see' you during this trip. Here I am sitting in my hotel room working and preparing for my meeting, wishing I was heading over to your grave instead. I promise to stop by the next time I am in town for work.

I hope you know how much I miss you and although I can't stop by your grave to visit and talk today, know that you are thought of everyday. Missing you like crazy today. Just wanted you to know...... :(

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Friday, June 3, 2011

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

June has Arrived

Althought I still think of you pretty much on a daily basis; I still find myself dreading this time of year - June....... your birthday, your last few weeks, your passing...and realizing that another year has passed. It's so hard to believe that we lost you 4 years ago. I still miss you like crazy and will do my very best not to dwell on what we have lost, but to remember the years we had as friends. We did share lots of birthdays together and a lot of them were fun times; especially when we would go out and party to celebrate being another year older!!! We definitely had some great times celebrating our birthdays together; whether it was at our apartments or barhopping along the many places on Church St. Then hitting Nectars afterwards for some Gravy Fries or going to see Theresa at Mr. Mikes and trying to snag some free pizza! HA, LOL.... Thanks for the many laughs and memories.

I will plan to light a candle on June 12th and June 27th in honor and in remembrance of you. RIP Jenna. Love ya and Miss you

Monday, May 23, 2011

June is almost here

It's almost June............almost that time of year again when we think back to the last few weeks that we had Jenna with us....... and drawing our hearts and minds to honoring her memory.

I have a trip planned to meet Dawn and the kids in Ohio. We are going to a water park and it's going to be SO MUCH FUN. I am extremely excited for Addison and Tyler to se their cousins and for the kids to feel that connection to our side of the family as they haven't seen us in a long time and so much has happened in their lives since I last saw them!

I thought for June it might be nice to post some neat little things on here to honor Jenna. Feel free to send me the thought or post it under comments!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

May 2011 - School Pictures






I opened up the mail yesterday to find a wonderful card from Dawn and the kids and some pictures! I cannot believe how big the kids have gotten in the past few years. They have sprouted up! I'm taking Addison and Tyler to meet them in a few weeks at a water park. We are all so excited to reconnect.

Enjoy the pictures of the sweethearts. Jenna would be SO PROUD OF YOU ALL!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

An old friend of Jenna's sent me an email through Facebook the other day asking me how she can get in touch with Jenna......

I saw heartbreaking to have to break the news that she passed away a few years ago. I can only imagine getting excited to find an old friend from high school and then hearing the news.

You're still thought of and missed every day Jenna.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Here are a few old pictures I came upon recently...... the two are from when Jenna had cancer as a teenager and attended Camp Ta-Kumta and she got to meet a few characters from "Newhart"......

I was thinking if people have old pictures of Jenna- take a picture of them and then email them to me and I can add them to the blog. Maybe a story of how you got the photo or what was going on? I think the kids would enjoy reading about it and I know I would.



Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Jake turned 5

Jake had a birthday last week and turned 5. I'll see if I can get some pictures to post for everyone. Unfortunately I don't really have much communication with Mark but maybe Dawn will have some pictures! A Grandma usually does :)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Jack Johnson and G.Love - Rainbow





Chandra sent me an email about this song. It reminds her of Jenna............. I wanted to post it here. Such a happy song.

I miss you little sis............... always will.

Friday, January 7, 2011

I miss you Jenna, especially at Christmas! I remember the excitement you always shared with me and it helps me to enjoy Christmas too. There are so many thing to remind me of you! I think of you and Will and my other unborn child a lot. I know you will all be there to great me when I cross over and that takes any all fear.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Thinking of you at Christmas!



I am posting this because we are all thinking of and missing you this Christmas.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Jenna on left with childhood friend......




You know what SUCKS about losing your sister to cancer? Being stuck with only old photos and memories to look at. I have said it SO MANY TIMES but I feel like there aren't enough pictures to look at and memories to relive.

This is a picture that just seems to radiate happiness. This was not that long after Jenna beat her cancer from childhood and went on to graduate high school and head off to college. She had a zest for life and even at this point was taking care of children day in and out and loving it.

One thing I admire about Jenna was that from her smallest moment in life she was drawn to children. She had a way of connecting with them and a nurturing quality about her. She KNEW from very young that she wanted to be a mother and raise her children. She was told after her chemotherapy as a teen that she may not be able to have children. But God knew she was meant to have them and blessed her with quite a few.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for the years Jenna was given. The years of falling in love with Mark - of the excitement of finding out she was pregnant and giving birth. I'm thankful for the years she had to finish up high school and go on to college and get a teaching degree.............and to have years of life where she was healthy and vibrant and full of life. I admire her endurance and her ability to find hope and remain positive as she was handed the cancer card one final time.... and instead of giving up and losing all hope she forged on DETERMINED to get every last ounce of life out of her life.

I'll never stop hurting over the fact that she is gone. I'll never stop mourning the loss of a daily connection to her children but I will always be thankful that all the lives she touched are people who I know I could pick up the phone and call on any given day and find a memory to relive together that would make us smile.

Jenna touched so many lives and I hope through this blog we continue to stay in touch and that SOME DAY we'll be able to provide a connection to Jenna for her children to come here and read and see that while their mom is gone her spirit is still very much alive in all of us that remain behind.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Wishes

I have been thinking A LOT about Jenna this past week. As we all know, this is Jenna's FAVORITE time of year. She would be making plans to head up to MI to spend Thanksgiving with her Mom; she would probably already be playing Christmas music and having some Christmas scented candles lit around the house. She would be on the hunt for the next pair of Christmas PJs for the kids!!!! I loved talking to her about Christmas as we would both be excited in all the preparations. It was all for the kids and she was determined to make each Christmas the best for them.

This is also a time of giving thanks and making wishes. I give thanks for the friendship I had with Jenna and the life we shared growing up. I also wish we had more time...... time of 3 years that have already been gone since Jenna left this world...... time that we wish would stand still for just one more minute, hour, or day to say the things we wish we had said. Wishing to hear her voice and laughter on the other end of the phone...... I really miss Jenna this time of year the most. I wish Ashlee, Kaitlyn, and Jacob had the chance to have more time with her and really know how wonderful their mother was/is.

She is never far from my thoughts and as I sit at my desk, I often look over at the picture I have of her (the one of her in the black dress on the cruise) and I find myself happy and sad. Happy for the memories we had and sad over the life gone too young....

I will be in Nashville in a few weeks for work and hope to visit Jenna's grave and hopefully connect with Mark so I can see the kids. I wish she were still with us today....

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I turned 40 last Friday....... a date that is huge for me. A date that I know Jenna would have had a LOT to say about. Maybe just happy wishes and a few sarcastic comments about but I miss having her input on things in my life. I miss hearing what she would say over something one of my kids are doing. I also wonder OFTEN how life would be for Ashlee, Kaity and Jacob if they had their mom still........... I see them a few times a year in pictures....... which makes them seem to grow in leaps and bounds. The hardest part of Jenna being gone is that I don't have her............ to connect to her children. To 3 little humans that my sister gave birth to - that are my flesh and blood - without Jenna they really don't know much about me and won't until something inside of them drives them to seek me out! Knowing Jenna and knowing me it is in their DNA to do so. Someday!

I miss you Jenna.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Memories......

Today, Tamra posted on Facebook a 'call out' to everyone to share some of their favorite memories of Middlebury. Reading some of the FB posts from a number of people has certainly filled me with a flood of memories.... especially of Jenna. I have to admit, sadly, that it actually has been a while since I REALLY thought about Jenna. Today it hit me hard (once again) over the realization that she is no longer here with us. Gosh, I miss her so much. Jenna was such a significant part of my childhood - the walks around town, hanging out after school, going up to the town resevoir or my treehouse to drink, driving to Burlington just because, the countless nights and weekends of hanging out at the Quesnel household (thanks Janna for always making us feel welcome and treating us as your own!).

Even while in college up in Burlington we still made the effort and took the time to get together - hanging out at our apartments, weekends downtown at Rasputins, Nectars, Queen City Tavern, Carburs, VT Pub & Brewery (boy, did we drink alot! HA).

There are so many memories that many of us are now holding on to since Jenna passed away.

Although I certainly cherish these memories, I would be lying if I was remiss to say that I will miss the fact that we will no longer be able to create new memories together, as our friendship grew, as our families grow together (although from TN and VA), and just growing up and getting older. It was nice being able to get together when we did have the chance once we all left Vermont.

Thanks Jenna for all the memories, the laughs (there were a lot for sure!), and for your friendship. Thanks Tamra for this brief diversion from the day to sit and remember our life and times in Middlebury.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Last night as I fell asleep I thought about what life would be like right now if Jenna had never gotten sick. I think when someone dies you consistently think about how it would have been if things were different! If Jenna were alive and actually KNEW my children. What would we talk about? I can hear her laughing at many things that have happened with the kids and sometimes hear her voice echoing in my head over something. Mostly I "hear" her on the radio. Songs will come on and speak to my very thoughts.

Yesterday Mom and I were driving and I had been playing some songs earlier in the morning from YOU TUBE to her. Songs that made me think of certain people or things. Well....when we were driving up to the outlet stores.........3 songs came on in a ROW that I had been playing to my mom.......what are the CHANCES of that?

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Trip Down Memory Lane

I am here in Gatlinburg, TN with my family this weekend and have found myself many times remembering the very moment that Jenna, Mark and the kids met us at this very spot just 5 years ago! Kind of surreal that it was 5 years ago already. We were down here for a family reunion in Johnson City, TN and before we headed back to VA, we met at the Gatlinburg Aquarium. Afterwards, we went over to a local beach area, had a picnic and enjoyed the day. Seems like it was just yesterday. I wish I could call up my friend and have her meet us here again. I am sad that I am not able to do that, but am glad at the same time for this memory and the moment we were able to get the families together even if it was just for the day.

I remember so vividly sitting at the park overlooking the beach and watching our kids play together. It definitely brought back memories for us and enjoyed the fact that our kids were getting to know each other. If only we could have had a few more of these moments....... but I will definitely remember this one for sure. I miss you Jenna.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

3 Years

It has been 3 years since Jenna died. It's hard to believe that it has been that long - yet it seems like a very short period of time. Today I called and spoke to the kids. I wasn't sure if they even realized it was the Anniversary of their mother's passing and I didn't bring it up. I just enjoyed hearing their happy little voices and knowing that Jenna would be so proud and comforted at how wonderful they are all doing.

I have been trying to think of the best way to honor and remember Jenna. I know she'd be looking for some SONG to play and I guess maybe the only appropriate song for today is the one I picked out at her funeral to play.....

Feel free to cry along with me......

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Happy 38th Birthday

Tamra on the left- Jenna on the right with Grandpa Kilbourn.


Jenna with the most important people in her life. Her babies!


"Stand" - Rascal Flatts Official Music Video




Jenna posted this song on her personal blog back in 2007. I never had the chance to listen to the words but I'm glad that I have now come back and done so and am sharing this with you. When you are handed cancer as a pre-teen and fight for your life- life takes on a different meaning than it would for any other person growing up. You live in the moment, the day - acutely aware of the fact that on the drop of a dime your whole life could change and everything that you take for granted along with it.

Jenna would have turned 38 years old today. I know that she would have been SO excited just about something as simple as a cake or spending the day with her husband and children.......... when I get stressed out about things in my life- I have to stop and remind myself that I am lucky to be alive. That I'm fortunate that I can still say and do the things in life that I have dreamed of doing. I hope that if you are struggling with something in your life- you will listen to this song and remember that considering all that Jenna faced in her life- that she still found hope and joy and she was determined to be happy! She would want us to do something HAPPY and fun in celebration of her life......... not to mope around sad and miserable of the loss of it

She is around us. Letting us know in little subtle ways that she is hear.

I'm thankful for those little signs all though I will admit I will shed a tear or two today as well.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Missing My Sister
© Belinda Stotler
One morning I found you in eternal sleep;
I tried to wake you as I began to weep,
But all my pleas you could not hear;
Oh if I could have only kept you near,
Away from the voices of those who went before,
Who beckoned you to come to that distant shore.

I find it so very hard to believe
That you have gone and I must grieve;
I call out your name -- you answer not,
And I look for you in every familiar spot.
Everything seems so strange and surreal,
I ask everyday is it a dream or real?

Where are the soft brown eyes of affection?
Where is the laughter and talk of childhood reflection?
Where is the loving care when I was sick or sad?
Where is the generous soul for which I was glad?
Where is the forgiving and understanding heart?
Where are the bonds that were there from the start?

I miss all the little ways you showed you cared,
For there were so many good moments we shared;
Looking back on my life’s assorted scenes,
I realized you taught me what love truly means;
You were my trusted confidante and best friend,
On whose loving support I could always depend.

I look at your smiling face in all my photos;
Memories flood my mind as I touch the mementos
From the happy times you and I have had,
But now these bring tears and make me sad;
For the time together went by in a wink,
Life was not as long as we’d like to think.

Sometimes memories bring comfort and make me smile,
But there are times when grief takes over for a while;
Friends offer gentle words and prayers to console,
And tell me what has happened to your loving soul;
Can it be true what they say of time healing grief?
Is it enough when they say death has given you relief?

Can we believe what others say of a better place,
Where our beloved ones rest in God’s warm embrace?
I should be happy you’re free of pain and sorrow,
And rejoice that you’ll always have tomorrow.
How can I then be so heartbroken and selfishly cry,
Return to me from that peaceful place where you lie!”

Now I look down at your name on a cold hard stone
That says little of the loving light you have shone;
It tells nothing of the wonderful person you were,
And only serves to remind me of the painful loss I endure;
But I know your kind soul wants no tears or pain,
Instead you’d want warm memories and love to remain.

Although I cry and stand grief-stricken by your grave,
I promise not to forget the loving memories you gave;
But still I miss you so very much my sister dear,
And your caring words I once again long to hear;
My heart’s only solace is one day I will see you as before,
Beckoning me to come join you on that white distant shore.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The last month of life

I looked over at the calendar today to realize that 3 years ago today- Jenna was living out the last month of her life. Some really strange things have been happening for me lately. Mostly music that comes on the radio or things that catch my eye- or her presence in my dreams. Yesterday I could have SWORN she was sitting next to me in my car while I drove. Something just felt that way. I know that seems really creepy or maybe a bunch of baloney to those who don't believe in any after life. But I feel her around me. I sense that she's making it known that she is around me these days.

Anyway - I feel like the time around her last weeks of life should be celebrated. I know that the kids are going to be reading this blog and I would love for our ability to share her life and memories to not have to come to an end. If anyone would like to add something to her honor and memory please email me and I will put together some quotes and stories of things that may have come to you over the past year to share.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Saturday, April 24, 2010


This past week I flew to Boston for a few days (work related) and I managed to fit in a trip to an old hang out that I used to frequent called "The Warren Tavern". On Wednesday nights they have a live guitarist singing. I was up near the bar talking to someone and went to sit back down on a chair behind me and WHOOPS almost sat on this girls lap. She had snuck in there and sat down. She and her sister were laughing.......and this girl reminded me SO MUCH OF JENNA. Anyway- I asked them if they were twins and they said NO but the one sister (that reminds me of me) said "My sister just keeps me laughing all the time with the things she says and how silly she can be" and it really made me think of the dynamic that Jenna and I had. I told them my "story" and how they really need to treasure what they have etc.

I also have THIS picture hanging up in my house and thought I'd share it....................... the girl in the picture is Theresa. One of my good friends and Jenna's childhood friend.

Friday, April 16, 2010

LIGHT THE NIGHT

I am attending a meeting next Wednesday, April 20th to learn more about doing this years LIGHT THE NIGHT walk as well as other fund raising events for Lymphoma and Leukemia. Jenna had both of these..............if anyone else would like to share local information for your area to put together a team let me know and I can post it here.

I will be putting up a ticker for donation for my walk to raise money in a few months when I know more details.

Blog Book

Good Morning!

I am converting pieces of this blog along with Jenna's personal blog to a hard copy book. It will take me several months to get it all put together and published but I wanted to let everyone know. My goal is to have 3 copies made for each of the kids that will be presented to them when they turn 18!

I also have made Jenna's personal blog private and you can email me to request to have access to the blog. You need to email me the email address that you use for blogger!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Friday, January 29, 2010

Living for the Moment

A show came on TV last night that we watched - Living for the Moment. It focused on a 38 year old guy who is married and a father of two young boys. He was recently diagnosed with ALS and has been given 2-5 years. The show's premise is about 'living for the moment' whether you are faced with a terminal disease or something significant happened in your life that had a profound impact.

Throughout the show, I couldn't help but not only think about my cousin's husband who recently died from ALS (died within 1 year of diagnosis), but I also thought of Jenna who endured cancer as a child and again in her adulthood only to due from Leukemia, leaving behind a husband and 3 beautiful children. Through it all, she never felt sorry for herself, didn't let cancer get the best of her, and fought as hard as she could to beat it, up until the end, when her body just couldn't give much more. I truly felt that Jenna 'lived for the moment' and this show reminded me just how precious life really is.

God gives us NO guarantees how long we will be on this earth. We should count the blessings of our tomorrows, and be grateful for being granted another day. I have been inspired by Jenna's strength and courage and was reminded that I need to do a better job at making the most out of this life I have been given.

Jenna, almost 3 years have passed since you left us, but I never go one day without thinking of you. You are in my heart and I still miss you terribly. God love you!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Lately Addison has a strong curiosity in who is on the blogs I am reading and about her cousins in Tennessee. She told me today that she loves her cousins and wants to go see them. I told her we would try to go down sometime this winter and she can play with them and get to know them better! I realized that she really doesn't have any RELATIVE children in her life close by - I grew up with cousins in the same town but she doesn't have that......... so we are starting to think about a trip to visit the kids. I know that Jenna would really want me to get down there. It has been way too long! I think it's been a good thing though to have photos of Jenna and the kids around because she is growing up knowing "that was Mommy's sister" and that she has 3 cousins and their names and ages etc. Having pictures has really kept the conversations going. I need to get down there and take some of them TOGETHER to hang up!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

An interesting thing occurred to me as I was talking to one of my best friends this past weekend about Jenna's passing. Right after she died I remember feeling as though I couldn't really "go there" to the painful place of how I felt about Jenna being gone. When people would ask me how I felt I could only talk about it on a surface level- and really just about the details but never about how horribly devastated I felt inside - how empty and alone and scared and sad............... because honestly- to even go there just a little bit would be like quicksand into a deep, dark abyss of mourning- a place that would suck me in and keep me there at the bottom of a Well.......... cold and dark and trapped.

So instead I mourned alone. In small little bursts I let it out - sometimes in angry bursts and other times just sobbing to a song for a few minutes- it's like the pain and loss slowly seeping out the cracks, but making its way.

Often I can't believe how much time has gone by................ and while the pain of Jenna's death is much more dull and mentally I've been able to process and accept it - it's amazing how thinking back to that period brings with it so many fresh emotions. I want to say thank you to those who kept reaching out to me even though I seemed "fine" and who reached out to my parents and have really tried VERY hard to stay in contact with us- because it's really nice to be able to talk and share memories with people across the entire spectrum of Jenna's life............... and I'm hoping that it continues. :)

Saturday, July 18, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAITLIN!

Happy Birthday Kaity. We are thinking of you today and hope that your day is very special.

LOVE YOU!

Friday, July 17, 2009



Thursday, July 16, 2009









Monday, July 13, 2009

I am going to drag out some of Jenna's OLD pictures and post them on here. I need to talk E.J. into scanning them in.

STAY TUNED.

Dream

I had the strangest Jenna dream the other night.

In the dream she was still alive.............and we were together talking about something- but then we just "couldn't find her". She was gone........... I think she was visiting me here in Cranberry and Mom was here too.........and I kept calling her cell phone and thinking "she's dead, I just know it" but I couldn't stop looking for her. Then I kept thinking to myself. "Oh No! The kids are going to wonder why she hasn't called them in so long now.............. they must wonder why Mommy just disappeared"......... so I got ahold of Mark somehow and he was looking over this cliff to see if she was down there and he was really worried................... but we couldn't see her anywhere........................ and when my mom got back she and I started crying and hugging because we just knew we'd never see her again. I remember saying "Why didn't I say something to her while I had the chance???" That thought kept running through my head. That I'd had the chance and I let it go.

It was like a life reminder to let people know how much they mean to you OFTEN and not wait.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

THANK YOU COUSINS!





Thank you Aunt Kara, Uncle Mark and Ashlee, Kaity and Jake for the wonderful little fire truck you sent for Addison's birthday. I didn't realize it was for her because it came addressed to me and I let her open it- and well turns out it WAS for her. She was super excited and at first kept hiding it so that Tyler wouldn't touch it. She even SLEPT with it. She's actually VERY into firemen and the trucks and she especially loves the ladder. I thought the kids would enjoy seeing Jax in the background. He doesn't like to miss a photo opportunity!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Gorgeous!





Jacy sent me some of the most adorable pictures of the kids from her daughters birthday party and I just had to share them. The kids look so amazing and are so beautiful. We love you Ashlee, Kaitlin and Jacob!